


The Faces of Aidan Turner

by Dragon_Dweller



Category: The Hobbit RPF, aidean - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Diary/Journal, Disability, Disorders, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multiple Personalities, Personal accounts, Private Journal, Relationship Struggles, alter ego, baggage, day by day, did, every day life, struggles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-22
Updated: 2014-04-23
Packaged: 2018-01-20 08:41:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1504034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragon_Dweller/pseuds/Dragon_Dweller
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aidan has Dissociative Identity Disorder, or best known as Multiple Personalities, and chooses to make a journal about the times he transitions into one of his five alters, with the help of Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Opening Entry

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by the once HBO show "United States of Tara".

Have you ever seen, heard of or know about a disorder called Dissociative Identity Disorder, also known as “DID”. Will if you haven’t. DID is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a condition in which a person displays multiple distinct identities or personalities known as alter egos or alters. It’s a tough disorder to have and a disorder I know a lot about.

Let me introduce myself, my name is Aidan Turner. I am 29 years old and an Actor. I live in Auckland, New Zealand with my partner, Dean, who is also an Actor. I also so have Dissociative Identity Disorder. I have five alters off of my real self. So, let me tell you about them, There is:

 **Andy:** An Ex Military special ops member that is a loud, rowdy and all around tough ass. That drinks way too much for anyone in the tri-area combined and who works construction.

 **Amy:** A 1920’s old fashion house wife.

 **Aid:** An out of control, rule breaking and over horny teenager that loves pot and grabbing everyone's asses.

 **Turner:** Is a spiritual, free loving hippie stuck in the 70’s, who tries to fix everything, but usually ends up fucking it up. But has been successful a few times.

 **Giveme:** A Shoe-goblin, that steals and/or eats every shoe it comes into contact with. Giveme also has a bad habit of biting and peeing on people.

For the five alters that I have I am only aware of Turner. My transitions are quick, unexpected and sometimes hard to deal with. Anything and everything can trigger them. A panic or anxiety attack, fear, an overwhelming situation, stress or a traumatic incident.

I am writing this journal to try and help others understand “DID” and to try and help myself with trying to cure myself of them, so that my family and friends don’t have deal with them anymore. None of my fans are aware of this disorder, but if you are reading this journal entry, guess you are now.


	2. Aid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Journal entry on: **Aid**

_ My POV _

The date is July 13, 2012 and it is around 2:30 in the morning. This is my journal entry on my alternate, Aid.

It was around 10pm yesterday, the 12th, when I transitioned into Aid. What set me off into my transition to Aid was a fight with Dean about possibly moving out to Ireland for a while.

** Aid’s POV **

When I entered Aidan’s body, Dean was yelling about something or other, all I knew is I didn’t fucking do it. “I wasn’t, you ass bag. Fuck, get off my case!” I yelled back at him. “You’re just still mad that I took all your Xanx the last time I was snooping around your room.”

Dean stopped yelling, “Aid, is that you?” he asked, a look of confusion on his face that made me laugh at his stupid ass.

“Yeah, It’s me, you fucker.” I barked back flipping him off.

“So, wait you were the one that took my Xanx and not TJ?” He asked me, anger was reboiling his eyes. I could tell by the way his right eye was twitching a bit.

“Yep, that was me.” I said sitting down on the couch and kicking up my legs on the coffee table.

“Get your feet off the coffee table, Aid!” Dean snapped shoving my feet off the table with his foot.

I stood up and got in his face.“Don’t fucking touch me.” I threatened.

“Or what?” He threatened back.

“I’ll call the cops on you for child abuse.” He laughed this time.

“You’re 17 years old, Aid. You can’t threaten child abuse and if you do, I’ll tell the cops all about your arson and drug dealing.” His head rocked back and forth as he threatened me, he looked so fucking hot when he was mad.

As he continued to threaten me with telling the cops everything I’ve ever done in my 17 years of life, I reached around and grabbed his ass firmly. He jerked away from me, “Don’t touch my ass, Aid.” He hissed.

I licked my lips and rubbed my hand on my hardening junk, “You know you like it, Baby.” I taunted him, stepping closer. “Aidan isn’t around. He won’t care if we have one little tiny winy fuck session.” I had him cornered against the TV.

“Aidan and I have a deal, no fucking the alters and you know this, Aid. You agreed to it.” Dean said. He was clearly turned on by me. I licked the side of his neck and kissed his ear. I felt him shiver against me.

“You want me, Dean.” I whispered in his ear. “You wanna fuck me.” I sang, grabbing his ass and pulling him closer to me. “Admit it, Dean.” I hissed.

For a moment there, it seemed like I was going to get into his pants. But instead he pushed me away and ran out the balcony door. “What was that all about?” Dean's cousin, Jessica, asked walking in the front door.

I pull a pouty sad face, “Dean, won’t fuck me, Jessie.” I sulked, going over to her and wrapping my arms around her neck, pretending to cry. Jessica froze for a moment before she realized who I was, me squeezing her ass helped a lot.

“Oh, Aid. It’s okay. He’s just not good enough to fuck you.” She told me.

“He’s not?” I fake sniff.

“No,” She started to rub my back soothingly. “But I am.” She whispered in my ear. I pulled my head from her shoulder, wiping non-existing tears from my eyes.

“You are, Jessie?” Jessica nodded, smiling. “Then can we fuck?” I asked her, my lip puffing out a bit more. She rubbed her thumb across my pouty bottom lip.

“Of course we can.”

**Three hours Later**

I quietly snuck out of Jessica’s bedroom, silently giggling to myself at the victory of fucking Jessica for two hours straight before she passed out. Walking down stairs back into the living room intent on watching SpongeBob, I found Dean passed out on the couch, looking at him made everything freeze solid.

_ My POV _

I blinked a few times before realizing that I was staring at Dean, who was sound asleep on the couch. A pair of arms wrapped around my waist and the side of someone’s face snuggled in between my shoulder blades.

“Get off me!” I barked, pulling away and turning to Jessica.

“You weren’t saying that an hour ago, Aid.” Jessica said, putting her hands on her naked hips. 

“Wait, did you and Aid fuck?” I asked a bit horrified.

“Aidan, is that you?” Jessica asked, confusion all over her face.

“Yeah, Jessica it is.” I answered.

“Oh, fuck. Sorry. I thought you were still Aid.” she told me.

“So, you and Aid did fuck.” I said, feeling dirty.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love Jessica to death as a **friend**.

“Yeah, we did and he was great.” Jessica smiled.

By this time Dean had woken up. “What’s going on? And Aidan, is that you, you?” He asked getting up off the couch.

“Yeah, Dean, it is.” I replied hugging him.

“Okay, so what’s going on?” He asked, hugging me back.

“Aid and I fucked.” Jessica blurted out.

“Jessica!” I yelled.

“What?!” Dean yelled, pushing me away. “Aid fucked Jessica?” he demanded.

“No, I fucked Aid.” Jessica said all to proud.

“Dean, I didn’t know. You know I don’t have control over him.” I pleaded with Dean as he grabbed his coat and car keys.

“Don’t talk to me, Aidan. I’ll be back later. I’m going to the bar.” He yelled, slamming the front door and knocking our wedding photo off the wall.

I dropped to the floor, my face in my hands as I cried. “It’ll be okay, Aidan. He’ll forget about it in the morning.” Jessica said putting a hand on my shoulder. I slapped her hand away.

“This is your fault. If you had just kept your mouth shut!” I screamed getting up, running into Dean and I’s master bedroom.

~*~

So, now an hour later, I’m laying here in bed up against the head board with my laptop on my lap writing this entry about Aid and the destruction he can do. That’s it for now, Good Night and until my next transition I love you all,

Aidan

P.S ~ Dean, if you read this, if you ever read this, I’m sorry about Aid and I love you dearly.


	3. Andy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aidan's entry on his alter, Andy.

_My POV_

The date is July 16, 2012 and it is around 4:30 in the afternoon. This is my journal entry on my alternate, Andy.

Andy came out around 6:38am on the 14th. What set him off was Dean never returning from the bar after our fight over Aid and Jessica.

**Andy’s POV**

I pulled on my worn baggy blue jeans and dirty black shirt along with my combat boots that were still stained with the blood of the crazy fucking gophers in the backyard I’ve been killing lately. Pulling on my hat, I grabbed the keys to the truck and headed out, searching for a drink, well a few drinks anyway.

Pulling into a parking space behind a building throbbing with music, I walked down an alleyway to the front door and walked in. Stopping a few feet within the door, I scratched my balls and continued on to the bar. I walked by several good looking ladies, winking at them as I go by. I find a seat at the bar and take it up, give my order to the bartender, then turn to survey the room.

"Hey, Andy.” A voice came.

Turning to the left, I spot Aidan’s little bitch standing next to me, clenching his drink, “Sup kid?” I reply surveying the room again.

The kid sits next to me, “What are you doing here?” He asked me, “Thought you went back to Ireland to get back in the military.”

The bartender tapped me on the shoulder and hands me, my drink. “Yeah, I did. But they won’t let me back in. Say I’m too old.” I tell him taken a big pull off of the beer. “Fuckers.” I mutter under my breath. The kid snorts next to me, “What’s so fucking funny?” I snapped at him.

“Nothing.” He said straightening up.

_Bitch_. 

“Heard you and the big man got in a fight.” I said finishing my beer and calling the bartender for another.

“Yeah, we did.” The kid sighed, “Aid and Jessica fucked last night.” He told me. This time I snorted, but part of me felt bad.

“Yeah, well kid. You know that Aidan ain’t got any control over what Aid does. It ain’t his fault that Aid’s a horny punk that takes it, where he can get it.” He nodded finishing his drink.

“I know. But it’s hard sometimes when he transitions into all his alters. You, I like. You’re a great drinking partner and someone to do crazy shit with.” I cut him off laughing.

“Like the falls in Queenstown, pushing Adam over them in the barrel. Funny shit.”

He laughed too, but continued, “Aid is always doing shit that pisses me off…”

“Teenagers.” I growl.

“Amy is great for household stuff, but she’s bitchy. Giveme is like having a renegade 5 year that’s half dog, chewing up everyone’s shoes and Turner, well he tries to help, but it's not always the best.” He paused for a moment spinning his bottle in his hand, if I wasn’t so damn blind I’d swear I saw a couple of tears, “But at the end of the day, when we go to bed, I just want my Aidan in my arms. Not you or Turner, or Giveme or Aid, or Amy. Just Aidan.”

My heart went out to the kid, I wish there was a time that I could hold my only. But she had died years ago. A tear trickled down my cheek…

_My POV_

I wiped the tear from my eyes, pushed the half full beer bottle away from me and turned to Dean. “Dean, I’m sorry about Aid.” I told him. “I know it's hard dealing with me and all the alters on a daily basis. I wish I could do something to be normal, to be just myself for you all the time.” More quiet tears fell from my eyes.

“It’s okay, Aidan.” Dean said finishing his beer. “After 3 years of being with you, I’ve learned that it's all you. You and all the alters, they're who you are and I wouldn’t change it. Even if all of them came out at once on their worst, I’d still love you and only you.” A smiled formed on both of our lips.

“I love you, Dean.” I whispered hugging him.

“I love you too, Aidan.” He told me back.

~*~

That incident was days ago. Dean and I are great again and I haven't transitioned since Andy, so I’m guessing that’s a good thing. (Crosses fingers) But, I am worried about it. Things might be building on me and who knows how it will let out.

Aidan


	4. Amy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aidan's journal entry on his alter, Amy.

_My POV_

The date is August 4, 2012 and it is 2:21pm. This is my journal entry on Amy.

Amy hasn’t come out in a long time.

**Amy’s POV**

Upon entering Aidan’s body, I was walking down the stairs to the kitchen. Looking down at what I was wearing, I nearly died. I was shirtless and in faded black pajama bottoms. Covering myself in horror, I ran back upstairs to cover myself properly.

Going to the kitchen dressed properly, I pulled out a few pots and pans, a few other things from the cabinets and fridge. Losing myself in what I was doing I didn’t notice Dean's brother Brett walk in.

“Oh, good morning.” He smiled, coming into the kitchen.

“Morning to you too, Hun.” I greeted him looking up from the mixing bowl I had going.

“What are you making?” He asked.

“Dean’s favorite, chocolate chip pancakes.” I smiled pouring in some more chocolate chips.

“Smells good. Do you need help with anything?” Brett asked.

“No, I’m fine. Thank you, though.”

I had just finished plating the last pancake when Dean walked down the stairs rubbing his face. “Good morning, love-kins.” I smiled, kissing his cheek.

He froze, “Amy?” he whispered skeptical.

“Yes, sweetie pie?” I beamed.

“When the hell’d you get here?” he asked.

I giggled, “I’ve always been here.” Playfully hitting him on the shoulder, he flinched and looked to Brett.

“Brett, what the hell?”

I was shocked, “Dean Lance O'Gorman, don’t speak to your brother like that.” I scolded him.

“Brett!” He whined.

“She was here, when I got in.” He answered.

“Where’s Aidan?” he demanded of me.

“He’s with all the other alters, where he belongs.” I told him.

 **I’ve always been the real alter, the others are fakes. No one knows better for my Dean than me**.

Dean rolled his head back groaning. “You look hungry, sit down and I’ll get you your breakfast.” I went away to fix his food as he sat down next to Brett. I gave him a glass of orange juice, then a plate of warm chocolate chip pancakes.

“Are you enjoying it, snicker doodle?” I asked him, watching him eat.

“Not as much as I enjoyed making sweet, sweet passionate love to Aidan last night.” he barked. I plugged my ears and hummed.

“I’m not listening, not listening.” he pulled my hands away from my ears.

“It was hot and steam. Just him thrusting in and out, making me yell his name over and over again.” I had heard enough, I slapped him across the face and without hesitation, he splashed the orange juice in my face.

_ Aidan's POV _

“Dean!!!” I screamed, “What the fuck!?”

He stood up, “I’m sorry. But it was the only way to get rid of Amy before I strangled her.” he apologized. He went and grabbed a clean towel out of the laundry room and wiped my face.

“I’m going upstairs to change.” I said leaving the kitchen.

~*~

On my way up stairs to get changed I busted out into tears. My alters are taking over so much of my life, that not only do I not know what to do, neither do the people around me. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Are there any suggestions that people may have for me to help??

Aidan


	5. Giveme

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean does a journal entry for Aidan on the event of Aidan's alter "Giveme" coming out.

Okay, so the date is July 28, 2012 and it is 6 in the evening. This is Dean's journal entry on Giveme for Aidan at his request.

I’m not sure when he can out or what made him come out. All I know is he was there when I woke up.

_Deans' POV_

I woke up way too early in the morning to the sound of ripping and chewing. My first thought was our dog, Murphy, getting into the trash and ripping the bag open. Not caring, I rolled over and went to snuggle back up with Aidan. But instead, I snuggled up with thin air. It was then everything came together, shooting out of bed I looked to the foot of the bed.

“GIVEME!!!!” I screamed seeing him chewing on my brand new favorite shoes.

Giveme flinched, pulling the shoe from his mouth and pressing it to his chest protectively. “Giveme, gimme the shoes.” I said, calmly holding my hand out as I inched forward towards him. He turned his body away still holding the shoe to his chest and snapped at my hand. Quickly, I pulled back my hand. I clenched my other hand a couple of times.

“Giveme, sweetie,” I gave him my best and sweetest smile. “Can daddy have his shoes back. He has to go to work.” I asked, still inching forward.

“No!” He hissed in a low creepy voice.

“Giveme, give me the fucking shoe!” I yelled lunging at him.

He moved quickly out of the way and I landed in a pile on the floor. Getting up, I spotted Giveme in the doorway of Aidan and I's bedroom. Quickly, I looked at the clock on Aidan’s side of the bed, 7:39am, it flashed in bright blue numbers.

_Shit, Dina is due in the house with the CEO of Warner's in 45 minutes. Oh god damn it_.

I turned back to Giveme, he was still standing in the doorway holding my shoe. Looking around desperately, I spot a pair of old Airwalks that Aidan use to wear. Slowly I picked one up, “Look Giveme!” I called waving the shoe above my head. Airwalks have always been his favorite to eat.

“You want the Airwalk?” I asked still waving it. He started following it, his head moving back and forth with it as I waved it around. “Do you, baby?” He nodded never taking his wide eyes off the shoe. “Yeah, you do.” I smiled, “But you have to drop daddy’s shoes.” The shoes dropped from his hands and to the floor. “That’s a good Shoe-goblin, I mean boy.”

_He hates being call the Shoe-goblin_.

“Okay, come get it.” I said holding it out to him.

He came slowly for it at first, but then he came quickly. Faster than him, I threw the shoe into the closet and if trained, he dived for it. As he landed on top of the shoe in the closet, I shut and locked the closet door. When he had realized what I had done, he started beating and pounding and kicking at the door.

“JUST CHEW ON THE DAMN SHOE!!!” I yelled.

Silence.

I pressed my ear to the door and listen for chewing and gnawing. There was nothing.

_What is he doing_?

*BANG*

I jump back from the door startled, tripping over my feet and almost hitting my head on the foot board of the bed. “God damn it, Giveme!” I yelled. “If I didn’t have to deal with the studio today, I’d spank the hell out of you and hide all the shoes!” The beating and pounding started up again. “Good fucking thing I laid out clothing for me before we went to bed last night.” I mumbled to myself as I stripped out of the clothes I slept in and into the fresh set.

**Hour Later**

“Welcome to my house.” I smiled greeting Dina and the CEO of Warner's, Jeff Rawley, they'd come to talk to me about a possible role and letting me be a producer.

“Thank you for having us.” Jeff smiled as I led them into the living room.

“How was the drive?” I asked making small talk.

“It was good.” Dina replied as she set up for the meeting. “So, Dean, where’s Aidan today?” She asked. Dina was fully aware of Aidan’s alters, having met Amy on one of her last visits.

“Oh, he’s okay. Running errors.” I lied.

“Oh, fun. Well, when you see him tell him I said hi.” She said sitting on the couch.

“I will.” I smiled sitting as well.

The meeting was going pretty well and we were almost down with it. “Well, I’m happy to have you with us, Dean. You're a great actor.” Jeff said passing me the new contract that he just signed and that I was about to sign, before we were interrupted.

“Dean.” A voice whispered. I looked up and saw Brett standing a few feet from me.

“Not now, Brett. I’m busy.” I told him and went back to the contract.

“Dean!” Brett whispered a lot louder.

I sighed angered, “Do you want to talk with him real quick. The contract can wait a few seconds.” Jeff smiled at me tightly.

“Yeah.” I replied getting up and grabbing Brett by the shirt.

I dragged him away into the kitchen. “What the fuck is it, Brett?” I asked, upset.

“I didn’t know, dude. You didn’t tell me.” He blurted out.

“Didn’t tell you what?” I snapped.

“I went into your room to get a pair of shoes out of…” He was cut off by Dina screaming.

My eyes widened, “Oh my god!” I run upstairs just in time to see Giveme jump from the couch over the coffee table and to the over couch holding one of Dina’s shoes. Dina sat on the first couch holding her hand and this time Jeff yelled. As I turned to look at him, Giveme had whipped out and was peeing on him.

“Giveme, NO!!!!” I yelled, rushing forward and pulling Giveme away, him still peeing everywhere. “Brett, take Giveme back upstairs and give him back one of the Airwalks.” I ordered pushing Giveme in Brett’s direction.

“I don’t wanna…”

“DO IT!!” I yelled, trying to help Jeff clean Giveme’s pee from off him.

“I’m so sorry.” I apologized over and over.

“Dean, what the hell was that?” Dina yelled, pulling off her other shoe to even her height.

“Um,” I looked around the floor and spotted her other shoe and gave it to her, “That was, uh, that was Giveme.” I told her.

“Giveme?” Jeff repeated unbelieving.

“Yes, Giveme.” I nodded. “Aidan is my husband, as you know,”

“I do.” Jeff nodded, clearly mad.

“What you don’t know about Aidan is that, he has a disorder called Dissociative Identity Disorder, also known as multiple personalities. He has five of them and Giveme is one of them. He’s a 5 year old shoe eating, biting and peeing goblin.” I explained.

“And what are the other 4?” Jeff asked, his arms crossed over his chest.

I gulped, “Amy is a 1920’s house wife. Turner is a free loving hippie stuck in the 70’s. Andy is an ex special ops member and Aid is a wild horny teenager.” I told him. Jeff popped his lips and squared his jaw.

“Okay. I believe you. So please sign the contract, so we can leave before Giveme comes back.” He said. I quickly signed the contracted, shook their hands and they left.

Rubbing my face after letting Dina and Jeff out, I marched upstairs to the master bedroom. Bursting through the door, I pointed to Giveme, who was sitting on the bed gnawing on an Airwalk.

“I want Aidan and I want him now, Giveme.” I demanded. Giveme just stared me, still gnawing on the shoe, like I never said anything. “Give him to me!!” I yelled. Giveme threw the drool soaked shoe at me, hitting me in the chest and making a wet drooly mark on my shirt. That was it, I was boiled over. I had enough of Giveme. Grabbing Giveme quickly by the arm and twisting his arm behind his back, so he couldn’t bit me. I started spanking him.

Giveme yelled and jerked, but was unsuccessful in an escape. In the moment of the fight, Giveme froze. I stopped thinking Aidan was coming back, but it wasn’t Aidan that came back…...


	6. Penguin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While dealing with Giveme in a bout of anger, Dean meets an old alter of Aidan's, Penguin, that hasn't come out in years.

Okay, the date is still July 28, 2012 and it is 8 in the evening. This is Dean’s journal entry on a new alter.

I don’t know who this is, where he came from or know anything about him. All I know is that he is clingy and cries a lot.

_Dean's POV_

I stopped spanking Giveme when he froze. I thought it was Aidan transitioning back. But, it wasn’t. Whoever it was started sobbing. If it was Aidan, he’d start yelling for me to knock it the hell off. This, whatever, started sobbing and crying for me to stop and to let go and I did let go and they dropped to the carpet sobbing.

 _I felt horrible_.

“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” I said, squatting next to the sobbing mass. The mass flinched and moved away from me.

-

Okay, I’ll tell you this now. I didn’t know that the fuck to do. I looked around the room uncomfortable. Spotting my cell on the other side of the bed, I got up and grabbed it, dialing Aidan’s dad’s cell number.

-

“Um, hey it’s Dean.” I laughed, when his dad picked up.

“Hey, Dean. What’s up?” he asked.

“Um, I have a problem with, uh...Aidan.” I told him.

“What’s wrong with Aidan?” His dad asked, clearly concerned about his son.

“Well, uh, he transitioned into Giveme, then he transitioned back into,....I have no idea what.” I explained.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean he was Giveme, now he’s in a huddled mass bawling his eyes out and talking like a little kid.” I told him.

“Oh no,” He breathed out.

“Oh no, what?” I asked.

“It’s Penguin.” He sighed.

“Penguin?” I spit out.

“Yes, Penguin. Penguin is a 3 year old, that is very clingy, cries a lot and is a needy version of Aidan, when he was 3. Penguin is very much a three year old.” He explained to me. I looked over my shoulder to “Penguin”, who was still sobbing.

“What do I do with....Penguin?” I asked.

After two hours of his dad explaining to how to care for Penguin, I hung up and went downstairs to the kitchen.

 _And thank god my mom was there_.

“Mum, where are the sippy cups that we use when Brett’s kids are over?” I asked searching through the cabinets.

“In the cabinets above the fridge, why?” She asked not stopping her task of making dinner.

“I have to give Penguin some juice, so he’ll calm down and talk to me.” I told her grabbing a red and yellow light up sippy cup from the cabinet above the fridge.

“Gotta give who juice?” She asked stopping then.

“Penguin is one of Aidan's old alters from when he was a teen. Apparently, he’s come back.” I told her looking in the fridge for juice. “Do we not have juice!?” I snapped. My mom reached in the fridge and grabbed the apple juice from the back.

“How old is this alter?” She asked pouring the juice into the cup and screwing the lid on.

“Three.” I told her holding up three fingers.

“Oh okay.” She said, “Why don’t you let me take this to Penguin.” She suggested.

“Why?” I asked, protective.

“Well, you’re all worked up, that will scare him even more, and I’m a mom.” She said, heading upstairs.

I followed my mom upstairs to where Penguin still was. Carefully, she approached Penguin. “Hi, Penguin.” She said sweetly. Penguin looked at her with red eyes. “You want some juice?” She asked showing him the sippy cup. Penguin nodded, “Okay.” she smiled handing him the cup.

Penguin sipped on the cup, sucking all the air out of it with as much juice as possible before letting it go. My mom smiled at him again and rubbed his back. “You look tired, you want to take a nap?” She asked. Penguin nodded, then pointed to me. 

_Ah Fuck_.

He whispered something into her ear and she nodded. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind and I’ll bring you one. You just go lay down.” She said. Penguin got up and snuggled into bed as my mom came up to me. “He wants to take a nap with you.” She whispered to me.

“Okay, but what are you bringing him?” I asked. She shook her head and left. I looked at Penguin, who was looking at me and sucking in the sippy cup. “Well, scoot over.” I sighed, getting into bed.

When I got comfortable, Penguin laid his head on my chest over my heart, still sucking on the cup, when my mom came back in and handed him something and left again. The sound of the air going back into the cup made me look down at him.

 _You have to be shitting me_!!

“A binky, Penguin?” I said looking at the light blue and light green binky in his mouth, “Aren’t you a little too old for that?” I asked. He covered the binky with his hand and then turned his face into my chest. “I was just sayin’.” I said putting my arms around him.

I finally fell asleep to the sound of Penguin sucking on the binky. I had given up on caring that the sippy cup that sat at my side was dropping and making me and the bed all wet. I just said fuck it, held Penguin more protectively and fell asleep, thinking that it was going to be a weird conversation with Aidan when he got back to his normal self.


End file.
